The Quantifiable Wealth of Tom Sawyer
Having passed the Picrocholinal sea, behold, Barbarossa yields himself your slave. I will, said Picrochole, give him fair quarter and spare his life. Yea, said they, so that he be content to be christened. And you shall conquer the kingdoms of Tunis, of Hippo, Argier, Bomine (Bona), Corone, yea, all Barbary. Furthermore, you shall take into your hands Majorca, Minorca, Sardinia,.
| treasure | quantity | category |
|---|---|---|
| kite | 1 | toy |
| dead rat and string to swing it with | 1 | prank item |
| marbles | 12 | game |
| part of a jew’s-harp | 1 | musical instrument part |
| piece of blue bottle-glass to look through | 1 | novelty item |
| spool cannon | 1 | toy |
| key that wouldn’t unlock anything | 1 | curiosity |
| fragment of chalk | 1 | writing material |
| glass stopper of a decanter | 1 | curiosity |
| tin soldier | 1 | toy |
| tadpoles | 2 | pets |
| fire-crackers | 6 | fireworks |
| kitten with only one eye | 1 | pet |
| brass door-knob | 1 | curiosity |
| dog-collar | 1 | curiosity |
| handle of a knife | 1 | component |
| orange-peel | 4 | food waste |
| dilapidated old window sash | 1 | salvaged item |
| treasure | quantity | category |
|---|---|---|
| kite | 1 | Toy |
| dead rat | 1 | Toy |
| string to swing rat | 1 | Toy |
| marbles | 12 | Toy |
| jews-harp | – | Musical Instrument |
| blue bottle-glass | 1 | Optical Tool |
| spool cannon | 1 | Toy |
| key | 1 | Miscellaneous |
| chalk | 1 | Writing Tool |
| glass stopper | 1 | Miscellaneous |
| tin soldier | 1 | Toy |
| tadpoles | 2 | Pet/Wildlife |
| fire-crackers | 6 | Entertainment |
| kitten | 1 | Pet/Wildlife |
| brass door-knob | 1 | Household Item |
| dog-collar | 1 | Pet Accessory |
| knife handle | 1 | Tool |
| orange-peel | 4 | Food Remnant |
| window sash | 1 | Building Material |
When they were all roused and up, he said, My masters, it is a usual saying, that we begin matins with coughing and supper with drinking. Let us now, in doing clean contrarily, begin our matins with drinking, and at night before supper we shall cough as hard as we can. What, said Gargantua, to drink so soon after sleep? This is not to live according to the diet and prescript rule of the physicians, for you ought first to scour and cleanse your stomach of all its superfluities and excrements. Oh, well physicked, said the monk; a hundred devils leap into my body, if there be not more old drunkards than old physicians! I have made this paction and covenant with my appetite, that it always lieth down and goes to bed with myself, for to that I every day give very good order; then the next morning it also riseth with me and gets up when I am awake. Mind you your charges, gentlemen, or tend your cures as much as you will. I will get me to my drawer; in terms of falconry, my tiring. What drawer or tiring do you mean? said Gargantua. My breviary, said the monk, for just as the falconers, before they feed their hawks, do make them draw at a hen’s leg to purge their brains of phlegm and sharpen them to a good appetite, so, by taking this merry little breviary in the morning, I scour all my lungs and am presently ready to drink.
Quantifiable Wealth of Tom Sawyer
Thus went out those valiant champions on their adventure, in full resolution to know what enterprise they should undertake, and what to take heed of and look well to in the day of the great and horrible battle. And the monk encouraged them, saying, My children, do not fear nor doubt, I will conduct you safely. God and Sanct Benedict be with us! If I had strength answerable to my courage, by’s death, I would plume them for you like ducks. I fear nothing but the great ordnance; yet I know of a charm by way of prayer, which the subsexton of our abbey taught me, that will preserve a man from the violence of guns and all manner of fire-weapons and engines; but it will do me no good, because I do not believe it. Nevertheless, I hope my staff of the cross shall this day play devilish pranks amongst them. By G—, whoever of our party shall offer to play the duck, and shrink when blows are a-dealing, I give myself to the devil, if I do not make a monk of him in my stead, and hamper him within my frock, which is a sovereign cure against cowardice. Did you never hear of my Lord Meurles his greyhound, which was not worth a straw in the fields? He put a frock about his neck: by the body of G—, there was neither hare nor fox that could escape him, and, which is more, he lined all the bitches in the country, though before that he was feeble-reined and ex frigidis et maleficiatis.